Writing
Coherent Paragraphs
Definition. A paragraph is coherent
when its sentences are related to each other. Remember that the purpose of a
sentence is to communicate the objectives of a piece of writing. Sentences
serve little purpose, therefore, unless they have something to do with the
other sentences in a paragraph. Paragraph coherence exists when each sentence
in a paragraph serves a purpose and the readers know what that purpose is.
The relatedness of sentences comes from coherence techniques (see below).
If these techniques are absent, sentences may seem only randomly or marginally
relevant to the paragraph. An incoherent
paragraph rambles from idea to idea, with no sign that the writer has thought
about what communicative purposes its sentences serve.
Coherence and Purpose. Consequently, at some point a writer must know the
purpose of each paragraph she has written. Paragraph classification (see the
separate handout) aids in determining paragraph purpose (the function and
rhetorical strategy classifications are particularly relevant).
The coherence techniques in a paragraph should mirror the writer's
intellectualization of that paragraph's purpose. If a writer doesn't know the
purpose of a paragraph, coherence techniques may not work. However, if a writer
doesn't know the purpose of a paragraph, a writer can try to apply coherence
techniques as a way of figuring out what that paragraph's purpose is. It is
possible, I am arguing, to use coherence techniques self-consciously to
interrogate one's own writing. In other words, in trying to "fake"
coherence by mechanically applying these techniques, a writer may achieve
"real" coherence. The writer will be forcing himself to think about
what he is trying to write and also forcing himself to look at what he has
actually written. Recognizing the discrepancy between thought and word is a key
moment in fixing weaknesses in coherence.
Paragraph-to-Paragraph Coherence. Furthermore, paragraphs must
be coherent with respect to each other. Each paragraph must contribute to a
piece of writing's objectives, and the reader must understand the relationship
between adjacent paragraphs to know the reason for each paragraph's existence.
If an essay contains a series of paragraphs with no indication of why one
paragraph follows another, the essay is incoherent. To create coherence between
paragraphs, use the same coherence techniques as for coherence within
paragraphs.
The Writing Process. Coherence results from strenuous revision. During
drafting, writers ought to have a sense of what paragraphs might assist in
fulfilling the writers' communicative objectives, especially in the sense of
what ideas the written work must express. In the early stages, however, the
writer may only have a tenuous grasp of what purposes her paragraphs serve, and
even what order the paragraphs should be in. I recommend that writers establish
coherence between paragraphs by the end of the revision stage. Writers should
pay attention to coherence within paragraphs during revising, but coherence within
paragraphs might not be fully developed until the editing stage.
Common Coherence Techniques
1. Use transitional
expressions.
2. Use pronouns.
3. Use deliberate
repetition.
4. Use parallelism.
1.
Transitional Expressions
Transitional expressions are words and phrases that indicate connections among ideas. Their use is crucial in writing. Particularly in argumentative writing, the writer should consider issues related to critical thinking (such as soundness of arguments, fallacies, and flaws in premises). Try not to use the same expressions in the same piece of writing (especially if the text is short). A thesaurus may be helpful in coming up with relevant transitional expressions (but avoid weird ones). Elegant use of transitions takes practice, but inelegant use is better than no use.
Transitional expressions are words and phrases that indicate connections among ideas. Their use is crucial in writing. Particularly in argumentative writing, the writer should consider issues related to critical thinking (such as soundness of arguments, fallacies, and flaws in premises). Try not to use the same expressions in the same piece of writing (especially if the text is short). A thesaurus may be helpful in coming up with relevant transitional expressions (but avoid weird ones). Elegant use of transitions takes practice, but inelegant use is better than no use.
Common transitional expressions (others are possible)
Relationship
|
Expressions
|
Addition
|
also, in addition, too, moreover, and, besides, furthermore, equally
important, then, finally, as well, further, indeed, in fact, ; [semicolon]
|
Alternative
|
either…or, if only, instead, instead of, in that case, neither…nor,
otherwise, rather than, unless, whether…or, or, in other words
|
Causation
|
as a result of, because, due to, for, on account of, since
|
Comparison
|
similarly, likewise, in the same way, not only…but also, as…as [e.g.,
as big as a house]
|
Concession
|
of course, to be sure, certainly, granted
|
Contrast
|
but, yet, however, on the other hand, nevertheless, nonetheless,
conversely, in contrast, by contrast, still, at the same time, although,
despite, even if, whereas, by comparison
|
Degree or Extent
|
for the most part, so…that [e.g., she is so loud that she doesn't need
a microphone], to some extent, to some degree, to a certain extent, such…that
[e.g., it is such a long way that I can't walk], in part, partly
|
Example
|
for example, for instance, thus, as an illustration, namely,
specifically, such as, : [colon], in that
|
Place
|
in the front, in the foreground, in the back, in the background, at
the side, adjacent, nearby, in the distance, here, there
|
Purpose
|
so that, to, so as to, in order to, in such a way as to
|
Result
|
therefore, thus, as a result, so, accordingly, as a result, it follows
that, consequently
|
Summary
|
hence, in short, in brief, in summary, in conclusion, to sum up
|
Time Sequence
|
first, second, third, next, then, finally, afterwards, before, soon,
later, meanwhile, subsequently, immediately, eventually, currently
|
EXAMPLE [from George Orwell's "Politics
and the English Language"]:
In prose, the worst thing one can do with words
is to surrender to them. When you
think of a concrete object, you think wordlessly, and then, if you want to
describe the thing you have been visualizing you probably hunt about till you find the exact words that seem
to fit it. When you think of
something abstract you are more inclined to use words from the start, and unless you make a conscious effort
to prevent it, the existing dialect will come rushing in and do the job for you, at the expense of blurring or even changing your meaning. Probably
it is better to put off using words as long as possible and get one's meaning as clear as one can through pictures or
sensations. Afterwards one can
choose--not simply accept--the
phrases that will best cover the meaning, and
then switch round and decide what impression one's words
are likely to make on another person.
2. Pronouns
Use pronouns to connect specified nouns in earlier sentences to the
content of later sentences.
EXAMPLE: [the first two paragraphs of Lenore Keeshig-Tobias' "He
Was a Boxer When I Was Small"]
His thundering rages are most vivid, his tears subtle. Watching and feeling for them, but unable to
bridge the gap, I learned to love, hate him
all in the same breath. No one ever knew this. They saw a kid in love with her father.
He was a boxer when I was small. People
say he was good and would have made
it had he started younger, but he had a wife and growing family to
provide for. Amateur boxing paid nothing, but he loved it. I think he
must have been about twenty-two then. He
claims that we were too young to have seen him
fight, but I remember.
[Note that the pronoun "he" creates
coherence between the two paragraphs as well.]
3. Deliberate
Repetition
Repeat a key term or phrase if that term or phase is central to the
ideas in a paragraph. To establish coherence in this way, synonyms of that key
term are not useful. Furthermore,
the shorter a paragraph is, the less often a writer should use repetition
(since too much repetition can be monotonous and wordy). But deliberate
repetition can be an uncomplicated way of indicating the centrality of an idea
to a paragraph. This technique often
occurs together with parallelism (see 4. below).
EXAMPLE [from Marie Nelson's Beowulf's Boast Words"]
But
let us begin as Beowulf begins, with the situation in the land
of the Danes when Beowulf arrives.
As readers will remember, all promisers
do not follow through by doing what
they say they will do. As Hrothgar
explains to Beowulf, who has just arrived,
his trusted "ōretmecgas" often promised
to wait for Grendel's attack in the meadhall.
4. Parallelism
Parallelism (or parallel structure) is the use of grammatically
equivalent syntax in adjacent sentences or within sentences. The repeated
rhythm of parallel structures notifies the reader that the ideas in parallel
structures are related to each another. Like deliberate repetition, overuse of
parallelism can at times cause monotony and wordiness: but consistent
parallelism is extremely effective in promoting coherence, and I recommend
erring on the side of overuse in this case. Indeed, lack of parallelism at
times creates ungrammatical structures.
EXAMPLE
WEAK: James was not only a prolific novelist
but wrote essays, too, and also several plays.
STRONGER: James was not only a prolific
novelist but also an essayist and a playwright.
EXAMPLE [from Winston S.
Churchill's speech on the evacuation at Dunkirk ("Wars Are Not Won by
Evacuations")]
Even
though large tracts of Europe and many old and famous states have fallen
or may fall into the grip of the Gestapo and all the odious
apparatus of Nazi rule, we shall
not flag or fail. We shall
go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and
oceans, we shall fight with
growing confidence and strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we
shall fight in the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we
shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe,
this island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving,
then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British
fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World,
with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and liberation of the
old.
Exercise
Identify the coherence techniques in these two paragraphs. (Underline
the technique and write in the margin the name of the technique.)
As Gene Roddenberry's James T. Kirk,
William Shatner was the embodiment of Kennedy-era sensitive macho: articulate,
reasonable and commanding, but always game to buss an intergalactic babe or
bust a Klingon jaw. If it was the role of a lifetime for Shatner, that was not
his decision to make. Fans, and the particular properties of the television
medium, would make it for him. A low-ratings earner from the getgo, Star Trek nevertheless began to build
its unprecedentedly rabid fan-base almost instantly. It was organized fan
pressure that convinced NBC to leave the show on for a third season, and it was
eventually fan pressure that made William Shatner realize that, if there was
anything worth clinging on to (so to speak) for a lifetime, it was the role of
Jim Kirk.
It first hit him in New Jersey in
1970. After 79 episodes, Star Trek had
been cancelled, and the combination of an expensive divorce and a residual-free
contract with Paramount, which owned the series and Kirk, soon left the actor
every bit as broke as he'd been when
Roddenberry first called. By 1970, he was doing summer stock for money, but not
enough money that he didn't have to cut costs by driving from job to job in a
pickup with a camper shell on the back. As Shatner recalls it, he was asleep in
the camper, when a six-year-old boy knocked on the door. The kid had seen the
strange sleeping apparatus and wanted to ask the inhabitant of the camper if it
was a spaceship. Imagine his surprise when Captain James T. Kirk of the
Starship Enterprise came to the door. It was then that Shatner began to realize
the extent to which Star Trek, which
would soon run in syndication across the States and 100 countries, had taken a
life of its own.
[Source: Pevere, Greg, and
Greig Dymond. Mondo Canuck: A Canadian
Pop Culture Odyssey. Scarborough, Ont: Prentice-Hall, 1996. 202.]
[V. Zenari. Adapted from: Troyka, Lynn Quitman, and Cy Strom. Simon and Shuster Handbook for Writers.
3rd Can. ed. Toronto: Prentice Hall, 2002.]
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